It was probably the longest morning of my life..class started at 5.30 in the morning (yes, and some say i didn't commit myself)..It was the last day of the class..It was my last chance..i will never meet her again..she was seated about 5 rows in front of me..i could see her from the behind..and her hair..anyway..i had a poem crumpled up in my hand..one i had drafted more than 15 times..this was important..it was the first poem i had drafted...all others were just 'once written-thats itten'..it had a red border..hope she likes red..two rows in front of her..another beauty..another lady tugging at my the strings of the heart...NO it has to be her..chinthanee..she's the one wrote the poem for..she's more special...our physics sir was going on..but all i can hear is my heart..i have never heard it beat so fast..it was magical....the interval approached..as i was walking out i was afraid whether she would notice i would be asking her..for her love..
The end of the class was nearing..i had no idea what the sir was talking..my mind was focused..more focused than it has been in my life..what will happen? will she slap me? will she jump up with joy? two extremes..i was expecting anything..everybody had started to walk out of the classroom..i slowly strode out..my best friends were outside..they were to give me support..i needed all of that was available...she had come out of the classrooms and stood outside..giving me ample time to fade away to think how beautiful she is..such supreme texture..its amazing..the feeling you get when dreams come true..it was all over me..but it wasnt complete...she started walking towards the exit..out of the rotary hall..perfect!! all i have to do is to run upto her and talk to her..but it wasnt easy..i had to talk louder than my heart beat...i started following her...then she made an unexpected turn to the left..along with her friends she started climbing the staircase..where more classrooms were there..empty classrooms..at that moment i felt she was going to have her lunch...thats going to take some time.." umba pallehata wela indahan..kella pallehata aawama katha karamu"..a logical idea from friend..we waited for about five minutes..i practiced the speech i was going to do infront of her..i must have practiced it more than 100 times..still..you never know..i was getting impatient..where is she?? then me and my friends also walked towards the staircase..one of my friends went to the top and came back confirming that she was havig lunch..then our plans changed..i was to stand outside the classroom she was having lunch and talk to her when she comes out..simple as that..one of my friends was preparing his phone to capture the 'moment'..ok...here she comes...
she came out..i let out a 1000 watt smile..maybe freaked out by that she turned with a shy smile and went back into the classroom!!!..fuck ..now what?..i still waited..uncomfortable..then she came out again...this time she was brave..she walked right past me..and i was supposed to talk to her..but there i stood like the statue of liberty with a sheet in my hand and a sweaty palm in the other..i was dumb..not a single word came out..oh my god! whole morning i was drowned in such eagerness..and i just let it walk past me..asshole..thats what my friends also made me understand what i was...next few minutes were dedicated to explaining my friends what went through me..it is not easy..then we came back down the stairs..i could see her washing her hands..we all decided it was over..my love has just been crushed like a tire running over a jambu..aiyo..
we headed towards the exit..and as i went i saw her standing near the ladies' toilets..she was alone..but now it was all decided..i headed for the door with extreme dissapointment..then one of my friends said.."umbata oka gana pasuthawenna wei machan"..he was absolutely right..actually i already was.....then i stopped...I have to do this..i have waited over two years for one woman..it would all be a waste if i let her go ..no fucking way..and I turned back...
Adrenaline..i never knew i had those in me ..but they were overflowing now..and i was not being chased by a bull..but it felt like that..driven by the extreme thought of her ...i went to her..she was alone..again..perfect!.."excuse me mata oyath ekka poddak katha karanna puluwanda?"..no reply.."mama oyath ekka katha karanna godak kal indan balan hitiye" that came out in avery robotic manner..too much practicing..relax..whoooosh..calm down..."Katha karana deyak nane" she said..what?!?!? how can she say that? i could talk with her till 3008!! "naha mekai..exam nisa mata oyath ekka hariyta katha karannea wenne nane..e nisa..puluwan nam mata phone number eka denna" i blurted out..she was writhing in embarassment..she had the most exciting smile..its working..she likes me!!...my feet were shattering...i felt blood rushing down..it was such an amazing feeling..the silence was awkward..i had to break it..but she broke it before me.." mata ekkenek innawa"...SLAP..right across my heart..fuck..she was lying..her eyes sold her out.."borune kiyanne" i prayed that she would crack and tell the truth..i wanted her to say.."ne aththa..eya pitarata"..those words were so convincing..yet..no this cant be..i have waited too long..i have sacrificed too much..but i was left with no choice..i cant pressure her..why is this happening??..."hari ehenam kamak ne..mama oyata kaviyak liwwa..meka ganna" i said as i gave her the poem...she took it..yes!! now a part of me is with her..and looked into her eyes one final time with an begging look..please say you love me..i knew at the bottom of my heart that she wasnt going to say that...i turned and walked away from her....
i didnt look back..my friends were all around me.."mokakda kiwwe machan?"..i explained to them the dialogues..i was in a state of mixed feelings..i finally talked to her!! but she said no!!...aiyoo...well that was that..the next few weeks were to be the most imprtant in my life..AL was a month away..i had to put the incident to back of my mind..hope she will read the poem..'the stars are witnesses to my love..' was the last line..i knew she loved the poem..but does she love me?....
